You know that feeling when something inside starts rumbling—quiet at first, then unmistakably loud?
Yeah. That.
Spirit’s been tapping on my shoulder (and let’s be honest, sometimes shaking me by the shoulders) and saying: “ It’s time.”
Not in a dramatic way. Not in a collapse kind of way.
But in the very real, very sacred kind of way.
I’m in a season of turning inward.
Not hiding. Not disappearing.
Just shifting my energy, reclaiming it, listening more closely than ever before.
The Hermit (a.k.a. Me, Right Now)
If you know Human Design, I’m a 6/2—the role model Hermit.
Which basically means I bounce between “Come join me in this cosmic leadership circle!” and “Please don’t text me, I’m in a cave with tea and Spirit right now.”
And right now?
Cave time.
I’m nearing the end of the second phase of my 6/2 journey—the deep healing phase.
It’s where the deepest inner work stops being theoretical and starts showing up in your dreams, your body, your calendar, and your soul’s calendar too.
Things are rising. Old things.
Not in a crisis kind of way—more like a soul-cleanse.
Wounds from childhood. Wounds from other lives. Woulds I thought I’d already healed…but apparently wanted to run through the rinse cycle again.
Not from victimhood. Not from blame.
Honestly, I’m weirdly grateful.
Because what’s coming up is showing me just how much more strength, clarity, and self-love is available when I actually pause and pay attention.
Also, Life Is… a Lot
Not just internally. Externally too.
I’m currently:
Managing renovations for two houses (because one wasn’t enough, apparently)
Listening closely as Spirit outlines the blueprint for a nonprofit I didn’t even know I was launching until suddenly a few weeks ago…I was
….and feeling all the feels that come with being a mom whose child just crossed that high school finish line—and a partner walking beside someone reimagining his path, his purpose, and our shared dreams.
(Also, yes—this shirt? A+ gift from my husband. Inspired by our cosmic desert pup “Commander Taco.” Life goal unlocked: partner who gives great presents and gets your weird? ✅)
So if I don’t respond to your message right away, or if I skip a few gatherings, please know:
It’s not personal.
It’s energetic.
And it’s deeply, deeply intentional.
Mount Shasta, Mirrors, and Letting Go
At our Christ Alchemy retreat in Mount Shasta, something powerful happened.
Actually, a lot of powerful things happened.
We cried. We laughed. We danced. We moved mountains inside ourselves.
Some people left visibly changed—in their bodies, in their faces, in their hearts.
And in the middle of holding space for all of that, I got handed a little mirror.
A gentle one. But also a loud one.
I saw, clearly, a pattern I’ve been carrying for lifetimes:
Emotional martyrdom.
Here’s how it tends to sneak in:
Saying yes when your whole system is whispering no
Giving and giving and giving….and maybe hoping someone will notice how tired you are
Showing up because “you always do”, not because it’s aligned in that moment
Wearing strength like armor and love like duty
Sound familiar?
I saw it. Felt it. Named it.
And now I’m choosing to set it down. Lovingly. Without drama. But definitely….fully.
What I’m Choosing Instead: Interdependence
Here’s what I know for sure:
We’re not here to be anyone’s savior.
We’re also not here to do it all alone.
We’re here to co-create.
To heal in integrity.
To love without disappearing.
Interdependence means we get to show up as ourselves, with our needs, our boundaries, our joy, and our truth—while trusting that others can do the same.
This is the future. And I’m leaning all the way in.
✨ Quick Practice: Breaking the Emotional Martyrdom Pattern (Gently)
If you’re noticing some of these old over-giving patterns in yourself, try this centering practice. It’s simple but powerful—because awareness + intention really can shift everything.
1) Put one hand on your heart, one on your belly. Take three slow breaths. Let your body know you’re listening.
2) Ask yourself:
Where am I giving from depletion rather than overflow?
Is this act of care rooted in love… or in fear? Fear of not being enough? Fear of losing love? Fear of abandonment?
Let whatever arises come without judgment. Just notice.
3) Then say (aloud or silently):
“I honor the part of me that learned to love this way. But I’m ready to love without leaving myself.”
“It’s safe to care for others and care for me.”
“I release the old story. I choose balance, joy, and truth.”
Bonus prompt:
Next time you feel the urge to say yes out of guilt, pause and ask,
“Would I still say yes if I trusted that I’m already enough? If I trusted that I’m worthy of unconditional acceptance and love?”
Sometimes, that’s all it takes to begin writing a new pattern.
So Where’s Alara Right Now?
I’m still here.
I’ll show up for the things I’ve said yes to through Spirit.
You’ll still see me in the spaces that are aligned.
But I’m also sipping tea with my inner child.
Lighting candles and breathing through the next layer.
Laughing at myself.
Pausing.
Resting.
And if I’m quiet?
Know I’m just listening more than I’m speaking.
Tending more than I’m teaching.
Not because I’m gone—but because I’m getting clearer for what’s next.
Because I’m not here to disappear in love.
I’m here to shine in it.
And so are you.
💌 Want to Connect? Here’s Where I’ll Be
Even while I’m honoring my Hermit rhythm, there are a few beautiful places where I’ll still be showing up. If one calls to you—join me.
🌟 Christ Light Activation Circles
Gentle, spacious virtual gatherings where we breathe, remember, and anchor into our Christ frequency together. Casual miracles welcome.
📖 Christ Letters Study Group - Begins July
A lighthearted, spirit-led circle for diving into The Christ Letters together. Whether it’s your first time or your fiftieth, come as you are. During this 9 month journey together we will read, discuss, and let each of the transmissions guide us.
🌀 The (Small) Great Gathering - July 25-27, Sedona, AZ
A cozy council convergence to seed the movement inspired by The Christ Letters. Meditation, land connection, cosmic conversation, and unexpected joy. Hybrid option available Saturday if you want to tune in from wherever you are.
🌍 Soul Quest + Concert Adventure - Chile, August 29-September 2
We’ve been called to the mountains near Santiago for energetic work we won’t fully understand until we’re there—and that’s part of the magic.
Oh, and yes…we’re going to the Green Day concert August 30th. Bring your 90s attire and your dance moves. It’s going to be wild and wonderful. Landing page coming soon…meanwhile, get in touch if you want details for this adventure!
🌊 Bali Immersive - September 28-October 5
A radiant week of joyful transformation in one of the most beautiful places on Earth.
The theme is water—we’ll be in it, playing with it, activating through it. This one is for the softening, the laughter, the rebirth.
If any of these light something up inside you—follow it.
And if now’s your time to turn inward, too—I honor that completely.
We’re all just figuring this out, one miracle, one integration nap, one cosmic playlist at a time.
With so much love,
Alara
Cosmic Christ Force
✨ Expect Miracles
