As we move through the holiday season, this is a great time to reflect on the difference between emotional processing and truly having an emotional experience.
You’ve probably heard, “You need to process your emotions.”
What does that really mean? And how do we shift from simply processing to fully experiencing emotions, allowing them to move through us and lead to healing?
During the holidays, emotions often run high. Whether it’s joy, stress, grief, or excitement, it can feel like a rollercoaster. I’ve certainly felt this myself. Sometimes, I get triggered and feel the urge to process everything only to realize I need to experience the emotions fully, not just talk them through.
The difference is subtle but profound.
Emotional processing can keep us stuck in a cycle. It often involves rehashing the past — a trauma, event, or pattern. We analyze, reflect, and try to make sense of things mentally. But this leaves emotions unexpressed in the body, preventing true healing.
When we're processing, we might feel trapped in a repeating story. It drains our energy, making us mentally and emotionally overwhelmed. This can often lead to endless chatter about the emotion, perpetuating the cycle of processing rather than allowing it to move through. This kind of analysis rarely leads to physical or energetic shifts necessary for healing.
In contrast, having an emotional experience means feeling the emotion as it arises in the present moment. We allow it to move through us without resistance, creating space for healing. This involves presence, energy, and sensation, not just intellectualizing.
This holiday season, as old wounds and family dynamics trigger deep emotions, let’s shift from processing to experiencing our emotions. Let them flow, express, and transform. After all, this is the path to healing.
The invitation this week is to lean into the subtle differences; are you processing or experiencing to process
Here are some questions to ask yourself…
1. Am I stuck in a mental loop or endless chatter? If you find yourself rethinking, analyzing, or talking about a specific emotion or event over and over, you might be stuck in a processing loop. Healing emotional experiences flow through the body, not just the mind. Excessive talking or rehashing can indicate that you're stuck in a cycle of processing rather than allowing the emotion to move through.
2. Am I resisting the emotion? Emotional processing often involves avoiding or suppressing feelings. In an emotional experience, we feel and express emotions without resistance.
3. Do I feel release or transformation? Experiencing emotions leads to a sense of release. If you're not feeling lighter or more at ease, you might still be processing.
4. Am I using the emotion to fuel growth? Emotional experiences often lead to deeper insights and growth. If you feel like the emotion is helping you evolve, you’re likely experiencing it rather than just processing it.
If you find you are processing and looping, try this simple practice:
Pause and Breathe: When an emotion arises, breathe deeply. Place your hands on your heart or abdomen to ground yourself.
Identify the Emotion: Name the emotion — sadness, anger, joy, frustration, etc.
Feel the Energy: Close your eyes and notice where you feel this emotion in your body.
Let It Move: With each breath, allow the emotion to flow through you, releasing any resistance.
Trust the Process: You don’t need to fix or change anything. Let the emotion pass through you.
As we continue through the holiday season, emotions will likely be charged. Instead of staying stuck in old stories, I invite you to experience your emotions fully. Let them flow, trust the process, and know that healing is happening.
Where have you been stuck in a story that no longer serves you? Can you allow emotions to move through you instead of perpetuating them through excessive talking or analysis?
This week, I’m setting the intention to work more with processing through experience and healing, instead of staying trapped in mental loops. I invite you to join me. Let’s allow our emotions to lead us into a space of transformation.
We are all birthing something new this season, and in this flow, healing is already underway.
Sending love,
Alara
